Hi Ben! Congratulations on your first NYFW presentation. How did it feel? 

Thank you so much. I can’t lie, it probably was the most incredible experience of my entire life. The energy of backstage, working with everyone, the models, the stylists, hair and makeup… It was like this impossible and amazing thing. I’m still a little bit in disbelief that it all even happened, or that we were able to pull it off the way we did. 

How did your community play a role in the production and presentation of your first show? 

It was probably the only way we were able to produce the show. Really my producer, Fefi Martinez, is a miracle worker. We were just calling in favors left and right. We were just trying to find people that understood our financial situation, but still wanted to make something happen. It was less about finding people who were willing, but more about reaching out to people that were excited about the project and wanted to be involved. So in a cheesy way community was what made this all possible. 

Were you surprised by the turnout of your presentation and how graciously your collection was received? 

I cannot explain to you how shocked I was backstage. I think the moment Fefi told me there was a line it all set in. I was like, fuck, this is really going to happen right now. I was taking shots of Soju backstage trying to just relax right before the show. But it definitely put on the pressure that there were so many people showing out. It all felt like an accident. 

The way it was received was a relief. It wasn’t all for nothing, I thought, and I think just feeling that way is enough. 

You describe your show as being your last ditch effort at fulfilling a fantasy of New York City that you have long put faith into – what does that fantasy look like?  

The show was supposed to describe this futile effort to embody an old New York, filled with thriving economy, living in “Soho”, hanging out with “Chloe Sevigny”, something like that. But it was more like this irony of saying goodbye to an old fantasy while fulfilling a new one, which was putting on the show itself. My New York fantasy has already happened by presenting the collection and telling this story that I think resonates with a lot of young New Yorkers. 

This collection is titled “Rotten Goodbye” – do you feel yourself staying in New York, and continuing to be inspired by/disillusioned with the city? 

I hope! I love to joke about how I’ll have to leave any minute as I barely scrape by month-to-month. But I’m so stubborn and determined to make it work out and land on my feet somehow. The city is so contradictory, but in that is a lot to work with in Fashion, so I think I’ll continue to try and make work here. 

How helpful do you feel like the delusion of the grandeur of the city is to young creatives like yourself? 

I think what it might do is it provokes people to feel like they have to make something. Either art or something of themselves. But I think lots of people feel cheated. We were promised lots of things that don’t exist anymore. You get here and enter this weird milieu of people nostalgic for a time in art or culture that’s long gone and it’s kind of depressing. 

 Your collection is obviously inspired by the style of the1950s/60s. Amongst the references to Pop Art + Mod style, the clothes also seem to possess a slightly eerie domesticity and conservatism. How did you balance the beauty with the rottenness throughout your design process? 

It felt really exciting trying to find new ways to combine these two ideas. Lots of color and pattern was referencing '50s ginghams, and this kind of prim and buttoned up way of dressing. Some of the silhouettes too. Then having something grungier like fringe or cutouts or muddying the color can just bring it into this new story. It’s a tricky balance because I really wanted the garments to still feel controlled, so I let these added elements do most of the storytelling. 

 What artists or creatives do you see wearing and fitting into the Ben Doctor world? What does the ‘Ben Doctor Girl’ look like? 

It would be so iconic if Anna Delvey wore my clothes. I think she is the epitome of this aspirational glamor of New York that you literally need to scam your way into. I really admire her, and actually wanted her to come to the show but heard she’s still under house arrest. I see my clothes being worn by the girl who still believes in the city, and the promises it brings, and can acknowledge the beauty in its ugliness. She has 30 dollars in her bank account, but she puts a 300 dollar pair of shoes on her credit card. Because that’s the world we live in.